One semester is down, seven to go to a Bachelor of Arts degree. In some ways I can’t believe I’m actually studying in university, fulfilling this long held dream of mine. There were times through my first semester that I wanted to quit, where I had complete meltdowns, ate cake, and crawled into a hole … Continue reading The Resurrection of Hope
Warning- a ramble on life and Uni- not much to see here other than me processing life which I do better writing it out than silently mulling. Move on if you aren’t interested in a long epistle of Jan’s life. Don’t bore yourself. So, I’m headed to University on Tuesday next week and somehow this … Continue reading honest talk- university, fears, and old age
Today is a day of remembering. One year ago I boarded a plane and left the country that I called home for almost 3 years. A place I expected to stay much longer than only 3 years- but curveballs happen. While I have experienced many good things in moving back in Canada that are worth … Continue reading One year ago
It’s been a year since this post. Although we still find ourselves in a world that feels anything but normal, I still also believe we will see the stars again. Someday. Maybe soon. Until then- hold on.
Do you ever wonder what we thought and talked about before Covid-19?I can hardly remember and it does feel as if it’s taking over our lives and potentially ruling our future.
Right now it feels like the whole earth is groaning, shifting, and trembling under the pressures, the stresses and the fears. So much is unknown. It’s reminded me that I don’t have the control in my life and my little world that I tend to think I do. Crises and pandemics are good at that. Reminding us that the mirage of control we thought we had, was really just that. A mirage. An illusion. I’m grateful that I have placed my trust in the Creator of the universe. It gives me a bedrock of peace and certainty in the midst of so much chaos and uncertainty. Yet that doesn’t change the not knowing what tomorrow might bring. It doesn’t…
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One and a half years ago I picked up a pencil and tried to create on paper for the very first time what was happening inside of me. I didn't have any expectations for myself other than failure. I had always joked that I couldn't even draw stick figures and when I would try to … Continue reading Hope and the space to create
It has enshrouded me. It has suffocated me. It has made me hate every fiber of my being. It has enveloped me like scorching billows of toxic smoke in a burning building. It has burned me alive and made me beg to die. It has mocked me and tormented me. It has isolated me and … Continue reading Not My Shame
A Fiercehearted Woman, by Holly Gerth. I hung this poem up under my bathroom mirror then. Back in 2017. I was determined to learn the lines. To live the lines. To find my way through the lines. I committed to reading it daily. So it would somehow seep into me and then through me. Somehow … Continue reading Reflections on ideals and reality and living overseas.
When this is all said and done- I wonder how we will talk about this time period. What will we talk about? What stories might we tell our children and grandchildren about the pandemic of 2020? I imagine we will tell them of the heroes, the ones who risked their lives on the front lines. … Continue reading Calm amid the Angst
Do you ever wonder what we thought and talked about before Covid-19? I can hardly remember and it does feel as if it’s taking over our lives and potentially ruling our future. Right now it feels like the whole earth is groaning, shifting, and trembling under the pressures, the stresses and the fears. So much is … Continue reading We will see the stars again
When we are tired of hearing of Coronavirus and are weary of the brokenness of our world. Where do we turn? I’m seeing two main responses to this. Some of my friends are feeling the reality of what a pandemic like this could mean for all of us. They anxiously scan every news article in … Continue reading Loving through Crisis
Concrete Abstractions 