One and a half years ago I picked up a pencil and tried to create on paper for the very first time what was happening inside of me. I didn’t have any expectations for myself other than failure. I had always joked that I couldn’t even draw stick figures and when I would try to draw anything, the finished product would be unrecognizable, looking like a drunken sailor drew it while in rough waters. Sometimes it still looks that way, but…
It was at the encouragement and advice of a counselor, after I had confessed to having an entire drawer full of art supplies but had never dared to try to create anything, that I stepped into this world of creating. What was I so scared of? I’m not really sure. But I’m so glad I went home that day and tried it out. For me, creating art has helped me sort through and express a lot of things I couldn’t give voice to. There are times where words don’t cut it. Sometimes pencils or paints or colours (or something totally different) can say it so much better. Sometimes words won’t form but your hands can still speak. I want to learn how to create more, to take lessons and learn techniques so I can get better at it. Mostly I still look off of something that someone else already created and create my own version of that. I really want to learn to do it on my own, but for now it helps me express and process things. If you’ve never tried it. You should. You might be surprised. It’s also cheaper than therapy. (but speaking of therapy- that can be worthwhile too)
As far as creating again, I hope it comes back for me one day. Since moving back to Canada from overseas, any creativity within me has dried up. It’s not something one can force, I’ll keep making space for it and see what happens, but I do really hope it comes back some day. Until then. I shall hold onto hope, and share with you my first piece that I sketched- (inspired from Pinterest.) I added the words from RM Drake after sketching- and I still find them fitting, so I’ll leave them there too.
I’m hearing and feeling the exhaustion of the past year on myself and many of those around me. We are all tired. This is a season. A hard season I might add. And the good news is that seasons do not last forever. It will end. We are collectively walking through this tough season of global change. Then we also have our own, very personal stuff to walk through alongside of it. So if you find yourself in a dark, dry season where it might feel like you are frozen in sadness or pain. Where hopelessness crashes hard in the dark of the night and you wonder if the sun can ever shine again. You are not alone. And I promise. There have got to be better things ahead. Hope is a powerful thing. If you can find a way to hold onto hope- you will come through.
Grasp on to hope and go create something.
Get messy. Have fun. Be bold.
You cannot fail.
“If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh
Concrete Abstractions 